Sometimes pretending to be okay is really exhausting. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy.... but this is my blog, so I'm going to write about it. (Comments will probably be turned off for this post)
I feel like I am living dual lives. There is my public life and my private life. And things are TOTALLY different in those lives. In my public life, I am strong and in control and resilient. I have attainable goals and a sense of focus. On the exterior, I look like I am holding it all together.
In my private life, I am a mess... an absolute mess. I am a zombie. I cry at the drop of a hat, often in the car. I don't sleep. I sort of eat. I am a hermit and I feel alone.
I know that it's only been about a month. I know it will take time. I guess I just expected something a little easier. I want to be able to move on and I can't completely.
I'm exhausted.
