Three months

It's the last day of March, which means it's been 3 months since "the incident".  Technically, more than 3 months, but I'm not doing a day countdown or anything.

I figured since I don't really talk about it all that much on here that I would provide an update for anyone interested.

Things have been getting easier.  I thank my family and friends for really being as supportive as they have been.  They've listened to me bitch, they've been wonderful distractions when needed, and they've given good advice when requested.

I find that I can watch movies, tv shows, read wedding blogs, listen to love songs and no longer cry.  Is it hard to see/hear things that remind me of him and our relationship?  YES.  Are there still times when I catch myself saying "us" or "our" or thinking of things that remind me of him?  ABSOLUTELY.  But I don't cry as easily as I used to and it doesn't sting to think about or say things anymore.

In the grand scheme of it, I'm indifferent.  Is that one of the steps??  Complete indifference?   I just really could care less.  What he does, who he talks to....  The only thing that still triggers any emotional response from me is when he takes too long to respond to my emails.  Oh, and the fact that he has STILL not given me a response to what he wants to do with the house.  There will be an email going out tomorrow about this fact.

I do still find it cathartic to talk about it.  Not that I invite the questions left and right, but I appreciate that people don't treat me with avoidance about the issue anymore.

And as time continues to pass, I get more and more excited about what I get to do with my life now.  I feel a little like I got a "do-over", and I have the chance to do things I wanted to do and hadn't done yet.  Small things like decorate my next apt/house/condo/whatever EXACTLY how I want.  To bigger things like running a half marathon.  I'm excited about the flexibility in my life right now and the fact that I get a second chance to just focus on me. 

I love me. :)

Wednesday Fun...

because I just couldn't resist posting it.  She cracks me up.  I love watching her try to imitate what you do when you make faces at her. 

And that face... that face she makes when she's standing is priceless!

who plays volleyball at 9pm on a weeknight?

I'm serious....  I don't think you should have to play volleyball at 9pm just to get a game in.  It leaves me seriously exhausted the next morning.

I used to like working out at night.  I seem to have more energy and stay focused in the evenings, so night time work outs were great for me.  Then again, when I was working out at night, I didn't have to get up at 5am the next morning.  So I guess things are relative.  It's hard to get home at 11pm and still have to shower and wind down from the work out.

Last night was especially rough since I am confident that I strained some tendons in my left thumb.  It's twice the size as the right one.  Good thing I'm not left-handed. :)

I employed a "fake out" method today so that I could hopefully convince myself and my coworkers that I'm not really as tired as I feel...  specifically speaking, I made an effort getting dressed this morning.  Usually on Tuesdays after a late night of volleyball, I just throw on something comfortable (and usually kind of frumpy) and run out the door.  Not today.  Today is a nice outfit and actual make up.  The hair was wet, but the effort was there.

Also, Amanda... I know it's a pencil skirt (again), but I belted it this time.  See, I listen!

*blouse - express, skirt - Jcrew, belt - express, shoes - nine west, earrings - gifted from Lis :), hair - librarian-esque, no?

Goals Check-in: March Round Up

I just realized that today is March 28th... which means I should've done my goals check-in on Friday.  Oops.  Well, better late than never...
1. SAVE MONEY, REDUCE DEBT: Going pretty well.  I had "forgotten" about my savings account and the money that is being automatically transferred there.  This is a good thing.  It goes unnoticed, which means I won't touch it.  Still waiting on my tax return to help chip away at the debt.  I make all my payments on time, so that's a plus at least.
2. GET BACK IN SHAPE:  This is going well.  I'm on my 4th week of training for the half marathon and I'm pleased at how well I am doing on the runs.  Saturday I ran 3.5 miles, which I'm pretty sure is the longest I have ever run.  It was kindof chilly out, but the sun was shining.  I found a good run I think will work for these middle distance runs. 
I think when the weather gets nicer out and I can regularly schedule my runs that I will try to mix in my 30 Day Shred video as well.  I actually miss doing the strength exercises and I do notice a difference since I stopped. 

Also, the eating habits have taken a hit since my roommates (sorry Lis...)  So I am probably going to have to figure out how to get back on that. 
3. STEP OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE:  Eh.... it was okay.  As Amanda quoted last week, "that's alot of pencil skirt."  So apparently I need to branch out a bit.  Noted Amanda... noted.

I do still plan to wear pencil skirts often since I have several in my closet.  I'll try to mix it up some more.  I'm struggling with this goal a bit.  I've been really tired lately so it hinders my willingness to take extra time in the morning to get ready.  I am running the marathon in the summer which is WAY out of my comfort zone, so that's good.  April will be my month to be creative and think of other ways I can achieve this goal.  I think there will be several opporuntities to do so, I just have to keep my eyes open.

So all in all, I think I'm doing pretty well on my goals so far.  April and May are going to be VERY busy months for me.  I have a family wedding, my work conference, girls trip to Mexico and a quick stop over in Chicago.... all before Memorial day.
Happy Monday (and bonus outfit)!

*Sweater - Jcrew, Shirt - Victorias Secret, Skirt - Express, Tights - Target, shoes - Nine West 

I'm so annoyed I have to weay tights and it's almost April!

too much social media?

I've been thinking alot lately... how much is too much when you talk about the social media circus that we deal with now.

There's Facebook, myspace (if you still use it), LinkedIn, twitter, tumblr, flickr, blogging....  should I keep going?

Recently, I've started a tumblr account to see what all the fuss was about.  This is usually how it starts for me.  I create an account because apparently it's the coolest thing ever and decided after playing around in it for a few weeks if I want to continue to use it or not.  Facebook is so far the only thing on the list that I really enjoy.  I deleted my myspace acount ages ago and before that there was friendster.  I dabbled in twitter before I quickly got bored and deleted my account (though I still have an account for work).  I have a linkedIn account, but I still don't really understand why I should be on LinkedIn.  As you can see, I blog as it's convenient to me (this is not my first blog and probably not my last...). 

So I testing Tumblr... we'll see in a few weeks how that's going.  It sounds like a cross between blogging and twitter, which in that case, makes it sort of redundant doesn't it?

Music Thursday

They played this song at the end of an episode of Mad Men in Season one.

I love Mad Men (clearly) and was excited to add this song to my ipod.  It also really makes me want to take a trip to NYC.

I like to sing this song out loud in the car on the way home... Yes, I am that person.

case of the Mondays...

...on Wednesday.  Awesome.

I'm sad today, really sad.  For no one identifiable reason or cause.  Maybe its the rainy, dreary weather we are having today that has something to do with it.

I've been thinking alot about things lately...  reliving, trying to deal, how to handle where I am currently.  I'm sure that has something to do with it.

I could use another weekend of quiet time in sweats watching movies and napping.

That's all for today... sorry blog stalkers (MEL!).

a little less tired than expected

Volleyball was cancelled yesterday.  The world rejoiced that I did not have to drive all the way back down to Virginia and not get home until 11pm.  Actually, my coworkers should be thankful since I am much less crabby today than I was preparing to be.

It also meant that I was much more inclined to look nice at work today... it helps that the trustees chair is in the office today (another reason to look presentable).

So bring on the pencil skirt!  I took a photo with the sweater and without since I like all the detail on the shirt.

*shirt - Arden B, sweater - Express, skirt - Jcrew, shoes - nine west

Also, who needs a haircut?!  I DO!  I like it long, but it really needs a little more life.  I've already made an appointment with Nina before the Vesha wedding and my multiple trips in April and May.  It's going to be a busy spring.

Monday mornings...

I can't believe its March 21st.  Where the heck has this month gone?  There hasn't even been a holiday to help speed the month along (usually at work, I countdown to the free day off and then look forward to the next one... it seems to make the time go faster... am I the only one?)

Also, I HATE Mondays.  Hate them.

Anyways, here's a random smattering of thoughts in list form (yippee!)

• This weekend was one full week with roommates.  Hopefully little Kayla has adjusted to her new surroundings and will stop driving mom and dad crazy! :)
• Samson is having a rough time adjusting to not being the center of attention at the house.  Over the weekend, I think he had his limit and just wanted a little TLC.  He's such a big baby.

• Marathon training is going well.  This Saturday I ran 3 miles.  I'm going to make a general statement and say this is the further I have ever voluntarily* run.  While it was slow, it was continuous and I felt really great after.  It also helps that it was beautiful outside.
• Melissa and I did some damage at Ulta on Friday since they had a Benefits deal going on.  It's always exciting to get new things, you want to play with them immediately.
• I'm not realizing that my goal to make more of an effort appearance wise for work is going to mean getting up a bit earlier.  I can no longer scrape by with blow drying my hair, throwing on clothes, swiping on makeup and running out the door.  Hopefully, the fact that it will be lighter out will help with this transition a bit.

I have volleyball tonight, LATE, so tomorrow is going to be a tough one for me.  I hate playing the late games because it's a 45 minute drive home and I don't get into bed until after 11.  At least I will feel less guilty about it since Samson won't be home alone the whole time.

I also just realized that I think March is going by so quickly because I have so many things coming up in the next two months.  First, my work conference.  I will be gone for 10 days in Seattle for work.  And then quickly following that I will be in Mexico for my girls trip with a quick layover in Chicago for a few days.  Before I know it, it will be memorial weekend... which has it's own implications.  I'd rather not think about that now.

*Voluntarily, meaning OF MY CHOOSING, I cannot include any running done during college.  That was mandatory and often, far from enjoyable.

St. Patty's Day

Happy St. Patrick's day!

The irish in my will be celebrating with corned beef, potatoes and soda bread.  The rest of me will be going about my regular Thursday activities. :)

This card cracks me up.  And also is a little bit true.  I may have one today to celebrate.

The Pencil skirt

The pencil skirt....

Hands down, the best clothing piece EVER.

If I was a poet, I would write something lyrical about how amazing my love of pencil skirts is.  Maybe I should talk to my uncle about being my ghost writer.... 

Today is pencil skirt #2 for the week.  It's supposed to be in the 60s today.

*Blouse - Express, shirt - JCrew, skirt - JCrew, sweater - Express, shoes - Nine west

My sidekick

I realize that since the arrival of Kayla, I have not posted a ton here about Samson, MY baby. :)  I think he's handling the arrival of the Hales family pretty well.  The last two nights he hasn't had a problem sleeping in my room with the door closed.  Even when Kayla fusses at night.

I can't speak for how he is during the day for Melissa, but I figure he would be just like he usually is... wanting to sit outside all day if possible.

Last Sunday, Dave got a call from Kim and Evelyn to see how the move went and the Hales' learned first hand that you cannot say "say hi..." on the phone without getting a LOUD response from Samson.  :)

I took this video a few weeks ago when I was staying at the Hales apartment while my parents were in town.  Samson can be very energetic at times, but he can also be SUPER lazy...  He cracks me up.

The happy accident

I know I've said this before....  this weather is impossible to dress for.  This morning it was in the 30s, this afternoon high 40s... Friday... 70!  Seriously.

I've also noticed that as I become more and more tired (I can't seem to catch up on sleep), I lose the energy to try to plan outfits.  This mornings was thrown together purely in an effort to get out the door fast while looking semi-presentable.  I'm looking forward to full spring weather as it is ALWAYS much easier to dress for.  Also, I would really like to move my "clearly winter" clothes out of the basic rotation in the my closet.  God willing, this will be soon.

*shirt (actually a "tunic" though let's be serious... not on me) - can't remember, Vest - Express, skirt - Jcrew, shoes - Jessica Simpson

I love the way Jessica Simpson shoes look....  not thrilled at all about how easily they fall apart.  In hindsight, I will no longer be purchasing her shoes, at least the types of shoes I would wear often.  I love these patent peep toes (they have a subtle animal print on the platform and heel) but they are splitting at the seam near the ball of my foot.  Granted, this also happens on my nine west shoes that I wear alot, but it seemed to happen much faster.  *End long shoe rant. :)

I realized in this picture that on days I feel the most tired I need to resist my urge to go light on the makeup and actually put on eyeliner.  I look SLEEPY.  Also... I need a haircut, big time.

daylight savings time

Just when I was getting used to driving to work in daylight, we had to go and change the clocks so it was back to nighttime driving again.

Well, everyone is all moved in... at least everything is at the house.  Now it just needs a place to go.  Samson was going crazy with all the activity in the house so hopefully he will calm down in the next day or so.  Saturday night was a rough night of sleep for everyone, especially Samson and I.  Its difficult for Samson to adjust to the fact that he can't just parade into any room he chooses whenever he wants.  And there were entirely too many people on too many floors for him to keep an eye on everyone.

Dave fixed my lighting problem in M&J's room (YEAH!) for me.  Saved me from having to pay for an electrician or buy a brand new ceiling fan.

Sunday morning, Kayla and I took Samson for a walk and had some playtime while Melissa and Justin made one last trip down to their apartment.  She cracks me up with all the faces she makes.  She and I could sit there and laugh at eachother for hours.

Sunday afternoon, Melissa, Kayla and I met Miranda for lunch up in Ellicott City.  It was nice to get out of the house for a bit and visit with Miranda.  Then Kayla and I took Samson for another walk while mom and dad were organizing their room.

We watched two movies over the weekend, The American with George Clooney (not what I expected AT ALL) and The Social Network, which was WAY more interesting than I expected it to be.

Also, did my first marathon training room WITHOUT Samson.  The weather was great and I took a new route, so there were new things to look at.  I felt really good afterwards, although my hips are sore today.  My neighborhood is alot hillier than I thought!

Moving weekend

Not for me... for my roommates.  :)

I've gotten the room all prepped (at least as much as I can handle).  The closet is cleaned out, the dresser empty,  bed moved.

It's going to be tight, but I'm excited to have them.

sequins

Even sequins could lift my bad mood today, though they did their best.  Today was rough, for really no particular reason.  Work didn't help matters.

I feel like I need an emotional vacation.  I'm exhausted and to distract myself I throw all my energy into work.  Anyone that knows what my job is like will understand how stressful that is.

I know one day it won't be this hard, but for now it's exhausting.

Thinking Spring

The weather in DC at this time is crappy.  It jumps from 70 to 40 within a day, it rains a ton.  It's just all out crappy weather.  This weather makes it extremely difficult to dress for.

I'm having a rough week trying to jump start myself into productivity, that includes clothes.  my clothes the last two days were not my finest.  Today I was trying for something a little more spring like.  Flats today because my legs are pretty sore from volleyball on Monday and I didn't want to kill myself before running today.

Wow, I just noticed this is a Jcrew ensemble.  Seriously... except for the shoes (Target).  I just bought this pencil skirt during one of their 30% off sale items with free shipping a few weeks ago.  I actually bought it in three colors, two of which are in a thinner cotton so they will be really nice in the summer!

50!

So I just realized that my previous post was my 50th post!  However, since one of them was a "testing" message, we'll consider this my 50th post!  Happy 50th blog!!!

Volleyball last night went well. It was nice to see people, even the people on my time I'm not always thrilled about.  The playing aspect was okay.  It took me until the 3rd game to finally do some things right... which is frustrating.  I know I shouldn't have expected to just jump out and play really well, but after playing for 15+ years, you put that expectation on yourself.  Even with that, it was a good night and I really missed my Monday night league.  I did NOT however, miss how late the nights can get when we won't finish until 10pm and I still have a 45 minute drive home.  I know Samson doesn't really enjoy those days either.

The best part about yesterday was getting to spend some time with Melissa and Kayla.  Kayla is so funny now with the faces she makes, and I got to experience exactly what Melissa has been saying about her "post eating" smiley routine.  I tried to capture it on my phone but she stops as soon as you pick up your camera.... sneaky girl.

I'm not sure if all of you know this because I haven't mentioned it yet, but Melissa, Justin and Kayla are coming to live with Samson and I for a while.  It will be good for Samson and I to have some other people around and I'm sure Samson will be SUPER excited to get to sit outside ALL DAY LONG while Melissa and Kayla are home!!!  Hopefully Justin will be able to figure out the best way to handle the commute. 

Plus, I get to see them every day now without having to figure out how to get down there with Samson and the commute.

PS.  this morning I saw this post on facebook that made me smile and laugh out loud.  The funniest part is I sent a text message before we started playing that said how pumped I was about how different my body looks and it was not to Melissa. :)  I have such great support from my family and friends, it's awesome! 

The long-short weekend

I had a really productive weekend.  A LONG weekend.  And yet, I'm exhausted.

It was so great to see friends I haven't seen in years and I'm so appreciative that they made the time to come out.  It was also really nice to see Lauren.  I look forward to the opportunity to get to see these people more frequently.

Tomorrow (Monday) will be my first time going back to my Monday night volleyball league.  I had taken a hiatus since "the incident" before Christmas.  I'm excited to get to play again and see a few people, but I'm also really nervous.  This is a community that knew both of us and I've been dreading having to face people.  I know that everyone will be supportive but hopefully enough time has lapsed that it won't be an issue.  I just had the looks of sympathy from people.  I would prefer to just pretend it didn't happen.  Fingers crossed it goes smoothly at least.

I had a quick chat with my friend Ron today, whom I haven't seen in ages and he said he was sorry about what happened.  And then promptly reminded me that when we first met he had warned me not to get involved with anyone from the volleyball community.  I should've listened, Ron. :)

We'll see how things go tomorrow.

Mobile post testing

Just testing to see if this mobile blogging really works!

Megan

Sent from my iPhone

It's about time...

Today I wore this outfit again.  It was pretty cold out so I was also wearing my winter coat.

As I was leaving the metra station, a lady (I'm going to assume was homeless) interrupted her conversation with two other guys...

"excuse me miss...  I like your outfit.  It's really nice."

I told her thank you.

Then as I was walking away she goes, "see, she's gangsta."

It's about time someone noticed. :)

Bits of spring and sparkle

I threw this outfit together this morning based on pictures I remember seeing in a recent Jcrew catalog.  Oh Jcrew, how I love you!

I'm pretty happy about this outfit and actually even more happy about the options it gives me for the spring/summertime.  I found another opportunity to wear sequins to work again!

*Blouse - Express (old, very old), Tank - Jcrew, Sweater - Target, Pants - Jcrew, Shoes - Nine west
*** total side note... these pants NEED TO GO.  They aren't even flattering anymore.

Also, I painted my nails in a new color this week (so far they have been dark red, hunter green and pink)...  is SILVER!  I saw an article online detailing the top 6 nail polish trends for the spring and metallic silver was one.  So glad I bought this color back in January.

For Amanda

To my long distance fashion advisor...  miss you.

*dress - Target, sweater - Jcrew, belt - Express, tights - Target, boots - Dillards