A retrospective

It's been a month since my relationship ended.  Technically more than a month.  And what has changed?  Nothing!  Well, one thing.  I don't sit at home every night frustrated because I don't hear from him.  Everything else, exactly the same.

I sit in our house.... alone.  I go to work.  I walk Samson.  I am alone.  This is my least favorite place to be.

I'm dying for a change and unable to do anything about it.  I'm trying my hardest to get things figured out so I can move on.

It's not that I don't feel supportive and loved.  I do.  Everyone has been incredibly supportive.  But that only goes so far.  That doesn't help the umpteen hours I am at home alone with my thoughts.

I can't listen to some songs on the radio without getting upset.  I have had to stop watching romantic comedies.  I can't seem to get Bobby Vinton's song out of me head.  Which one?  This one...

I know everything that everyone says "it's only been a month... it's going to be hard... it's going to hurt."  I know that.  But it doesn't make it any easier.

Some days my mind just totally forgets what happened.  My mind still looks forward to having someone to sit on the couch with, someone to cuddle up with.  That's not easier.

I'm waiting and hoping and trying to move on.... and it's completely exhausting.